because

Last night my friends in London were all updating me about the snow and how deliriously happy they were. Only to text back 15mins later saying the rain killed it all and they were all left with slushy snow/rain. Strangely, last night, I dreamt that I was playing in puddles of slushy snow on a field of unnaturally green looking green. I had on the most glorious pair of wellies and the air was humid and thick with rain. It was weird, but I remember being happy, so happy. Then I woke up, hungry. I reckon the number one reason I was ecstatic in my dream because the air was warm. Goddammit, when will it stop being cold in London. It's definitely something I can never get used to. Contrary to what everyone told me, my skin unfortunately doesn't agree with freezing temperatures and dry air. It's simple logic, if it's cold, the air is dry, and if it gets too cold, you have to switch on the central heating, which dries out your skin even more. Sometimes I wonder if I'll wake up looking like a prune.

The best and most useful item in my massive stash of skincare that I brought along is undoubtedly the ettusais lip essence. When I came back, Sherry from ettusais gave me an early Christmas present:



ettusais lip essence with Little Twin Stars!!! (read previous 2 posts), imagine my excitement. It's nice and heartwarming to come back and know that you are not forgotten. (:

I am now in search for an extra moisturising day and night cream and face masks. All the skincare I currently have is only perfect for Singapore's weather. They are rubbish for London's cold. Recommend me hydrating goodies, please? I'm almost desperate!

I want to host a party where guests have to dress up in fancy dresses and well tailored suits. Shoes will be allowed indoors and it is a prerequisite that they must match your outfit and cannot be black. It will be a hush-hush affair and all attendees will be immediately ushered into a corridor by a mousey-looking girl with ginger coloured hair in neat double fish braids, and not a single freckle on her perfect face. The corridor will lead guests to a dimly lit room hidden from the public eye, by a sci-fi metallic door that scans your iris to allow entrance. An elaborate mask adored with feathers, sequins and gems must cover each and every guest's face and all will mingle around with a montrachet glass in hand filled with peppermint-flavoured soft serve ice cream. Perfect swirls of mint green blobs with no sprinkles and no spoons included. And that is all that will be served for the night. Everyone will walk around giving pecks on the cheeks of strangers, speaking into each other's ears in quiet voices over the loud and garish music playing from an old gramophone. No one would know the lyrics to any of the songs. And so all will walk around and around searching for a familiar face beneath those feathered masks, with ice cream that never seem to melt.

After finally unpacking the last item from my luggage, i realise I only have 3 more weeks before I head back to London. During my week back, I've been desperately trying to meet everyone, going through all my old junk, sorting out items to donate or trash (like an engineering textbook). Looking through boxes of long forgotten memories can be quite rewarding and nostalgic. Like finding little plastic figurines of Kiki and Lala from Little Twin Stars. How I used to love them. My mom would buy me these intricate japanese candies with a Little Twin Star toy inside with only 3 tiny balls of chocolate in a box large enough to contain 50 of them. I would instantly become the happiest girl in the world.

I miss the days when everyone was loving, everything was simple, every thought was innocent. I am someone who hate changes to be honest. Yeah sure, new challenges make you learn in order to adapt and hence you grow. If you don't try you never know. How many times have I repeated that to someone regarding my move, but deep down inside, I think it was me I am trying to convince.

There are lots of roads that I could travel, but I am only one. And I can only choose one. Now that it has been chosen, there is no turning back. Also another fact about me, I never and would absolutely hate myself if I lived with a regret. I believe with all my heart that everything is how it is for a reason and you will never know it until all is said and done and you look back a decade from now. I guess being 23 (almost 24 since the year-end is looming), means I look back to when I was 13 which isn't much exciting. I was new in school, trying to fit in, trying to make friends, trying to be someone I was supposed to be. And 10 years from then, I'm still trying to fit in, still trying to make new friends, still trying to be that elusive someone I am supposed to be.

Next weekend, we all celebrate Christmas 2011.

Next year, I want to visit Stockholm.

Next decade, I want to meet the person I am supposed to be.

Next time, I want to be that person I was meant to be all along.

They say, "home is where the heart is." coming back to Singapore made me realise that this is where my heart belongs. As much as I love London, my new friends, the vast number of opportunities, the interesting and open fashion (when I say fashion, I mean everything under the umbrella of fashion) scene there, Singapore is safe. I'm not just referring to crime rates, but this is where my heart feels the safest. Despite being an expensive country to live in, further exacerbated by salaries not rising in tandem to the price hikes of, basically everything, we actually have it quite easy here. The transport system is amazing here (yes, honestly, please stop complaining), we've got lovely weather, an incredible amount of mobile internet, wide variety of affordable food and it's not even National Day and here I am being patriotic. Well, I'm back for a month and Singapore is all mine to love.

12.23am, 3rd december, saturday morning. ive been literally been waiting for today since the first day i came to london. in a couple of hours, i will be dragging my massive luggage to the tube station, pushing through the crowds and heading to heathrow to catch my flight home. i absolutely cannot wait. off to dream about chilli crabs!

i just spent an entire hour laughing at THIS. maybe you should too.

whoever said that you will miss school life once you enter the work force is obviously stuck in a shitty job. fucking hell, ive never been so stressed out in so long. but, its all over. thank God. last thursday was the last of my submissions and im coming home in a week! i can write a 3000 word essay on what i love and hate about London, but now, i just want to get back to Singapore and stuff my face with hokkien mee, POPIAH, chilli crab, orh luak, bubble tea, satay beehoon, chendol, prawn noodles, meepok, LAKSA, fish soup, tau huay, char kway teow, yong tau foo, wanton mee, lor mee, barbecued stingray, ayam penyet, nasi briyani, xiao long bao, OMG IT'S 3AM AND IM SO HUNGRY.

post halloween at my place

Oh London, just when I'm about to get used to your fickle weather, you give me freaking daylight savings? It's pitch black by half 6 and I'm sleepy by 7. Stop messing with my brain. No work is going to get done when I'm sleepy. I repeat, NO WORK.