HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

It's exactly 10 on the clock. Thursday night, cold and wet outside. I've got Bell X1's Bloodless Coup on replay. Track 11, 'Amsterdam Says' fills the room, my room. The room with a brick wall, an odd angle and the boiler inconveniently placed. The plastic blinds are weak substitutes for the frosted windows that filter the soft amber corridor lights into my room back at home. The positioning of this new bed forces me to sleep on my right, to face those cheap blinds as I watch the street lamps illuminate the night. I can never fall asleep that way, I only and always sleep on my left. And so I watch the street lights till my body craves for rest. I turn around, close my eyes, picture those frosted windows I know and allow myself to dream of home.

first, here's a touristy pic of me at hyde park pretending not be cold when im freezing my arse off.

second, if youre still coming back to ccchristine, thanks for sticking by. it has been a month and i am aware that ive been missing for a while. it has been a whirlwind of a month, coming to London despite never being here in my life and sticking it out and battling a cold, in the cold.

last month, i came to London half excited, half heavy-hearted. it was tears and hugs at the airport, i get emotional very easily and am absolutely useless at controlling my tear ducts. treacherous plane ride aside, the first night at my apartment was a complete nightmare. i didnt know how to work the fucking central heating, i had NO mattress (thank God, a kind friend loaned me an inflatable one), and NO duvet. i was so cold i honestly thought that i might die in this house with high ceilings and nobody would find out until my flatmate arrives to see me clutching on to every shred of warm clothing i have.

the next day, i went over to the landlord's and got that sorted out. lugged a freaking WARDROBE and duvets home. so if you ever think of bullying small asian girls, dont. because they are hulks inside.

eager to test out my new oven, i heated up ready-to-eat mushroom risotto from M&S and i came to a sudden realisation that the fucking oven will not turn off. it's a built-in oven so there was no plug to pull and i swear, i was panicking my pants off because it was too late to call the landlord and leaving an oven on the entire night does not sound like a good idea. so i decided to knock on my neighbour's door and asked him to take a look. so it turns out, ive got an insane oven and the only way to turn it off is to switch off the fuse. its like an on/off switch.

oh, and the reason why ive been missing for so long, virginmedia fucked up my internet order. apparently they were supposed to come on the 5th and i was eagerly counting down to THE day. but they never did came because they lost my order number had to re-book another. which means, i had to wait for another 2 weeks. at the back of my head, i could see myself going to each and every of their shops and burning every single one down. without the internet, i was rendered powerless. i had to rely on my slow mobile internet to check things up for school, send emails etc. it was when everyone was raving about facebook timeline and i couldnt see it. a little of me died inside. plus, that meant, NO skype. i missed everyone so much i cried a lot at night.

anyway, i turned 23 a few days ago and i decided to have a little potluck at my place with some friends although i was really depressed inside after reading emails and facebook messages from my mom, the boy and all my friends who sent their love. all i wanted at that moment was to go home instantly and then, i got the biggest birthday present i could ever wish for. the boy had flown all the way down and was standing at my doorstep with ikea meatballs in hand, all ready for the potluck. as expected, i cried like a baby.

it has been 2 days since the boy went back and im still down with a flu. despite how cold London is (close to 0°C now), how bad my cough is, nothing can bring me down. because im a small asian girl, and i have a hulk in me.