i was just looking through some pictures taken at jerilyn's birthday at shangri-la and i really like this. i like the different expressions on everyone's faces, from kirstie's "peace", to steph's "christine is damn heavy!" the balance is pretty neat too.

went for nanns and masala (due to a failed briyani attempt, and a fried rice escape) at al ameen with MHM and LLQ after script reading yesterday. anyway, i learnt never to drink "teh peng" (iced tea) in the wee hours of 1am in the morning ever again. kept me up all freaking night, sleep only came (finally) at 6am after the sun had risen and the birds have sung their morning songs. left the quite whacked out throughout the day and had to cancel all plans. that is why kids, go caffeine-free.

okay, after watching F1 and being very superficial, i spent about 10 minutes googling kimi raikkonen and lewis hamilton's pictures, and i have decided that hamilton's better looking. and so im not bummed about raikkonen crashing his car anymore.

see! hamilton's cuter. he has a nice nose and he looks more kissable. haha! im just baised because i like my men with dark skin. better contrast next to me. sexyyy. okayokay, i'll stop ogling blatantly. x:

i really dislike talking about things you cannot change. the more you discuss it, the more you realise youre back at square one, presented with a pair of scissors to cut the finishing line with. alongside with one million facts you can but do anything about, laughing straight right back at your face. circumstances can be so cruel sometimes. so i'd really prefer to sit down and keep that pair of offensive scissors as far away from me as possible, shut my eyes and pray that everything goes away. obviously that is not going to happen. but i believe that the longer i feign ignorace, the longer i can keep my bliss, long enough for time to wash my canvas clean of forgotten memories.

ling, carina, yours truly @ blujaz

F1 madness all around! i could even hear the revving of engines at 12+am near my place as i walk home in a lazy tired slumber from the bus stop. my brother went to check out the trainings etc just now and ling just got an invite to the F1 races this sunday. never been an F1 fan despite the constant ramblings about them from my classmate in secondary school and that raikkonen guy. i dont mind going for the races though, IF i had a ticket.

shopping can be so annoying sometimes.

when youre so broke that the insides of your pocket feel deeper than an ocean (but empty), dry like a salted fish left out in the sun and forgotten, EVERYTHING is nice, they all scream, "must buy!" its almost obscene that such pretty things with small price tags can be blatantly shown and paraded in front of my very eyes. but that only happens when youre poor and penniless and possibly living on grass and water.

its crazy that when you just got your pay and you happily write down a list of what you want to get, suddenly, all thats on display seems so dull that even granny would disapprove, wag a wrinkly finger in front of your face and tell you old stories about how mod she was.

its devastating that today's shopping trip proved futile. the vintage watch i wanted to get for my mom was sold out. and the worst part, it has been in the display cabinet since forever, so i reckoned i could take my time, get my pay before getting it for her. but no! just when i wanted to buy it, some mother's daughter just had to get it before me. possibly just 5 mins before i stepped into the shop. just because, such is life. things like these happen all the time, you can count on it.

must. hug. puppy. NOW.

it was a nice picture... but alas, i just had to fidget.

i thought i'd get stuff up on vinyl probably by october, maybe mid-oct. but no... october's going to be busyyy. i just got the schedule from chandler and "emmi" actually does have quite a number of shooting days. i was just thinking of what to do for my 20th, think no further, looks like i'll be at the chalet with the cast and crew. i really need to go on a holiday, after october, definitely. for now, what i need is a bag of gummy bears, a good movie, and lots of pillows. a cuddle would be nice, tempting even, but optional. when will i get my ass to completing autumn/winter 2008? that, is a very good question.

"Storms make trees take deeper roots."

"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."

"We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails."

"Find out who you are, and do it on purpose."

-Dolly Parton

in places no one would find,
beneath the dark red sky,
there in front of me,
lies the long journey ahead.

when i close my eyes, occasionally, i can smell your scent. so close i can feel you right next to me. like the wind, i cant see it, but i can feel it. so gentle, so warm, so kind. to see is to believe, to wake is to face reality. when these eyes meet with the first light of day, the wind eventually stops blowing.

because you were you, and i was i.

i really hate septembers.

the constellation of stars and horoscopes baffle me as much as how a brain works. your brain, my brain, everyone else's brains. if your pre-programmed chip looks exactly like mine, with blood pulsating through living viens, why do your thoughts and my thoughts repel so strongly?

i have an image in my head, that if i were to put my head against your head, before our earlobes can even touch, i would feel the magnetic fields and their strongholds pushing my head away-a temple throbbing experience.

if i were to shine a torch in your eyes, would they reflect a glassy stare? could i find myself in them? or will the fire in your eyes consume the light? could i read your eyes, im sure they'll look like mine.

isnt it strange that a little muscle that mechanically pumps blood in and out all day long gets all the credit and mention in countless bold declarations, prose and poetry?

maybe if you kept quiet enough, beneath the silent thumping of your heart, you could actually hear a tiny whirr of mechanisms clicking and churning out thoughts which repel mine and attract another.

those thoughts, they will pass through your voicebox and through vibrations of the air molecules, come out as words that reach my ears and transmit waves which eventually reaches my brain, repel them and send a sting to the little muscle that does nothing but pump blood.

that unsuspecting little thing that does nothing but pump blood, no wonder you deserve those lines and pages in truth and lies, words that bind.

i remember this line from one of my old journal entries, but i cant help relating to it once again.
"when i look out into the dark waters and grey sky, deep into the horizon, i cannot tell where water and sky meets."

the mirror doesnt reflect what you possess.

steph's ringtone is extremely unsettling. every time her phone rings, there is no peace in my heart. yet i cant stop, but (try to) sing the tune out.

last day of work on monday ended with a lunch treat from my colleagues. also, one of them got me beehoon for breakfast and the cleaning lady specially made braised duck at 3am in the morning and brought it all the way to work for me. im really touched by their gestures.despite only being a temp staff for 3 weeks, i felt like ive worked for 3 months there.

ive been seeing so much of my tiny counterpart these days for work and play, i feel that my silliness capacity has expanded 10 times.

rochor tauhuey (teamed soya beancurd) with theresa's logic on love, like two imperfect halves makes a whole bullshit, one and one makes a whole youtiao (fried dough fritters), aka the whole cream milk logic.

good times steph, good times... and pig out times.
(with love from kombangan)

keebie will be turning 3 in two months (:

shadows resurface from the dark.
face towards the blackened sky.
do you feel all alone?

do not save me from this calamity,
standing by the alternating black and white keys.
why do you set me up against myself?

this it it, the lovers have died,
the dust gleam like a lighthouse in mono coloured seas.
will you swim till you drown?

if im not mistaken,
this heart feels as much as a crimson apple.
why have i been so foolish?

i really enjoyed wall-e, i liked the fact that only wall-e, eve and the little cockroach dominated the first half of the movie. not forgetting to mention the really cute beeps and random sounds they use to communicate with that somehow actually sound like words.

i noticed wall-e's start up sound is clearly a mac os, i know, so steve jobs.

anyway, wall-e, a little beat up trash compactor eventually wins the (mechanical) heart of super sleek eve (eeee-vah). do not judge a book by its cover it seems, everyone will realise that they are made for so much more.

i cannot believe this. still terribly in shock.

its a pity, to remain this way.

office musings 1/9/08

so we finally moved to the new office at visioncrest. spanking new place with terribly cold air conditioning. i like my new desk, although i'll only be sitting there for a week. lunch was great, they catered in italian pizzas, lasagna, beef and tuna baguettes, sushi and even dessert. not a big fan of desserts, but u just had to have some of that chocolate mousse because it looked so pretty. i know, glutton. i regret it now though, i think its all too heavy and im feeling kind of sick.

its 3pm now and im sleepy as hell. everyone have been busy with unpacking since this morning and its finally getting quieter as they settle down; getting used to the foreign surroundings.

i need to remember to bring a jacket tomorrow. i feel like a chilled salmon in the freezer, or maybe a penguin in an igloo. which reminds me, homer simpson thinks that eskimos are not real.

okay, heading to the lounge to get a drink before i turn into a block of ice. laterrr.