CAFFEINE FREE

After finally unpacking the last item from my luggage, i realise I only have 3 more weeks before I head back to London. During my week back, I've been desperately trying to meet everyone, going through all my old junk, sorting out items to donate or trash (like an engineering textbook). Looking through boxes of long forgotten memories can be quite rewarding and nostalgic. Like finding little plastic figurines of Kiki and Lala from Little Twin Stars. How I used to love them. My mom would buy me these intricate japanese candies with a Little Twin Star toy inside with only 3 tiny balls of chocolate in a box large enough to contain 50 of them. I would instantly become the happiest girl in the world.

I miss the days when everyone was loving, everything was simple, every thought was innocent. I am someone who hate changes to be honest. Yeah sure, new challenges make you learn in order to adapt and hence you grow. If you don't try you never know. How many times have I repeated that to someone regarding my move, but deep down inside, I think it was me I am trying to convince.

There are lots of roads that I could travel, but I am only one. And I can only choose one. Now that it has been chosen, there is no turning back. Also another fact about me, I never and would absolutely hate myself if I lived with a regret. I believe with all my heart that everything is how it is for a reason and you will never know it until all is said and done and you look back a decade from now. I guess being 23 (almost 24 since the year-end is looming), means I look back to when I was 13 which isn't much exciting. I was new in school, trying to fit in, trying to make friends, trying to be someone I was supposed to be. And 10 years from then, I'm still trying to fit in, still trying to make new friends, still trying to be that elusive someone I am supposed to be.

Next weekend, we all celebrate Christmas 2011.

Next year, I want to visit Stockholm.

Next decade, I want to meet the person I am supposed to be.

Next time, I want to be that person I was meant to be all along.