CAFFEINE FREE

the other day, i was speaking to a friend about the rise in weddings you get invited to when you reach a certain age. women will tell you that the big 3-0 is the dreaded age, as all women have an "expiry date". if you arent seeing anyone and marriage isnt in the cards yet, its a cause to worry about. because we all dont want to be left on the shelf while the good ones get taken right? and, we have a biological clock that wouldnt stop ticking!

but hey, it seems like the men also have the same mentality, most are looking to settle down when they hit their 30s-late 30s. generally women prefer to date older men, of course there are individuals who have different views. im speaking for myself basically, i like a more matured man, 5-8 years older is ideal, because stability, security and sensibility comes with it (but ladies, im sure you can agree with me that matured men can be very childish too). so if you calculate, say a man who's 35 looking to settle down, the lady will be 27ish. see, men and women are on the same marriage-age wavelength after all.

so, before you settle down, you'll need to of course be dating for quite a bit already, 2-5 years perhaps. which means, a good time to be serious (less of a slut for females and less of a jerk for males), would be early to mid twenties for females and mid to late twenties for males.

if youre getting older and youre slowly seeing the "good ones" getting taken or reserved (chances are, if a guy/girl knows that he/she has got a gem, they wont let go, meaning the fishes in your ocean are depleting), its time to stop playing the field and know what you want.

from a female's point of view, what i can offer are some advices i think the men are making which causes them to be in this situation. i of course cant speak or offer advices to women cus we all have the same blindspots (sorry girls!).

1) most men will have in their hearts, "the one that got away". he can spend years kicking himself in the balls but she's not ever going to come back, ever. females hate indecisive men who just disappear or run away once a little commitment sets in cus he just doesnt know what he wants. if she's with someone else now, i suggest you kick yourself even more. if you drop something into a well, dont expect to fish it back up.

2) some men just like to play the field, to date as many girls as they want, hoping to find THE one. chances are if you go partying and tryng to meet people up, the girls you meet will have the same mentality as you, and you will be back to square one.

3) boys, those dating books/the system is nothing but a bunch of bullshit. ask her out only once and leave her hanging for more, dont express your feelings to her or risk being seen as emotionally weak? pfft. they teach you how to be jerks and cassanovas, great for those in point 2. women like men who are caring and respectful.

4) if you dont party much, youre a great guy (or so you think), but youre still stuck. perhaps you should join your friends for lunches, house parties, meet mutual friends etc. if your have great friends, it means your friends will probably have the same kind of great friends you prefer, since birds of the same feather flock together.

5) feel free to give the men out there some suggestions girls!

as for me, i like someone with style, smarts, sensitivity, a sense of humour and savior faire. i think ive found him already. (: